Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times...

Hi everyone. Happy New Year!
We had a wonderful Christmas. Just too hectic. Our daughter was home, my Wyoming brother came out of the mountains and my two sisters were all here. So Grammie got to have her kids all in one place and all grand kids as well.
We have had some crazy events but to summarize, we will be leaving next week for Kazakhstan. Yes, I wrote next week!
The judge that is hearing our case will need to attend to some personal issues and is cleaning out her court dates. We cannot go later, it is now or nyet!
A lot of scrambling with excellent direction and assistance from our agency and we will be leaving next Wed. or Thurs.
We are excited of course to think this could all be completed sooner than we'd thought.
Another sign this is meant to be:
A woman at our church sees a posting on a web site from a woman that has a lot of candles to donate to someone for fundraising. The woman from our church sends in a letter about Dias. Her letter was picked from hundreds of letters. She tells the church and people start buying the candles left and right. We did not know about any of this.... We were just presented with a very sizable donation from these church members. Then others start saying they want to help. An artist offers a painting for auction and others are offering other items. We don't even hardly ever go to church, and are not good members. But that was not the point for all those lovely people. They want to help this boy get a family. They are a small church with building fund needs etc., but they chose to do this.
We are continually blessed by the miracle of adoption. Of course, Shawn blesses us everyday just by being himself. But to see this kind of out-pouring is so touching.
And even in our unhappiness when things fell apart last summer, we have been blessed because that time in space allowed us to be in touch with a family that had lost hope about their child in Kazakhstan and we were given the blessing of opening the door a little for them via our adoption of Dias.
My stomach is in knots but I can't beleive I will get to hug that love bug and hear "privyet" in about a week.
Many wishes for all you want, need and hope for in 2009.
We are so hopeful for ourselves, other families and the children.
Hugs,
Susan

Home Sweet Home

We arrived safely into Houston Friday night. Regina told us and was right, customs in Memphis was a breeze! Then a short jet to Houston and we grabbed our luggage and bought 3000 ml of caffeine and hit the road to home. Arrived in Tyler around 2 a.m., took showers and slept till 10:00 on Sat. Then headed to Grandma and Grandpa's to pick up the sweetest boy in the world. It was quite an emotional reunion. Then we hung out with the grands and looked over a few of the 100,000 photographs we took. It is now Sunday and we are off to brunch with the rest of the family and then unpack etc.
Shawn crawling into our bed this a.m. was the best! We miss Dias, something is missing at our home but we will look to the prize and not worry about the race.
Back to the real world and all the demands it has on us.
Back to work and school and the demands of life. Except for all the exceptions, (too many to list), we kinda liked our simpler life in Taldy Korgan! We had a wonderful trip.
Thanks to everyone that wrote and kept us feeling connected, thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers and support. We are almost there.
With love and wishes for a blessed and joyous holiday season,
Susan and Mike

Tulips and tears

We are in Holland and I have been looking at Tulips. Then I think, Dias won't be home till they start to bloom! We had hoped for Christmas of course......We are not worried, he is in capable hands and has a wonderful group of caregivers. But we are sad. Leaving was hard of course. For him and us. Now we hear it will be March before we are done and of course 1/4 off our dossier will start to expire...Gripes I know, and no, we have not forgotten we even are having the chance to complain, and we are of course not forgetting the other parents who still wait for news and dates. it is just hard. This whole ordeal was compared earlier to a complicated pregnancy by me and I still go to that analogy in my mind. It steals some of your joy. But we are well, Dias is well and the court accepted our petition we were told. We were told not to expect anything sooner than the middle of Feb.
The KLM club is worth every minute if you fly economy. We are writing this, drinking wine and having a snack. Getting to ready to board for Memphis soon. Can't wait to see my boy.
Dias kept a photo for a horse and one of Shawn. That was all he wanted besides his Lion.
He is is our hearts and prayers every moment.
Will post a few more pics when I get a moment.
xoxo
Susan

The poster

One strange and cosmic event today, the poster about adoption that Shawn is on is posted here a few photos down. Look closely to my right hip and there is a group of kids ...Dias is in that group. He and Shawn are both on the poster! That made the hair on my arms stand up. Inessa noticed it and Dias verified it. He is in blue. That was a sign that Dias were together once and will be again.
Some of you may not know Dias was at the baby house when we adopted Shawn.
xo

Paka and Das vedanya

We will be leaving tomorrow for Almaty. Dias has had some bad moments, sad and mad and acted up a little today. Not his normal self. We did all we could to reassure and explain. The representative from the Minister of Education seemed pleased. One more photo for the judge. We have some last minute things to do in the morning for official paperwork, then we will have our normal visit with Dias and leave after that. We have to keep thinking about the final results and not this momentary pain.....Shawn has a PJ party at school today and they will watch Polar Express. He has new Wall E PJ's and is very excited. we bought him some toys today.
Gulnara's daughter had to have an appendectomy this eve. and Gulnara is here and here daughter is in Almaty, 4 hrs. away. We are thinking all positive thoughts and she is in our prayers. Gulnara will meet with the judge in the AM and discuss our case again and show all the photographs of our visit and of Shawn. We will not be able to return sooner than 8 weeks because of end of the year business and courts not open for holidays etc....We already knew so we are o.k. Mike signed his name 183 times this morning. Only the man had to.....I kinda like that!
Inessa and I have become good friends and I will miss her. She is a very amazing young woman and I am so proud to know her and now so happy to love her and call her friend.
So we will clean a little, unhook all this compute stuff and finish last minute packing and off we go.
I will write a little while we wait to go back.
Love to all family and friends.
And Susan Cotten, thank you, thank you,thank you. You and Regina are wonderful coordinators that keep us all glued together.

2-3 year olds out for a walk

We will start our last full day here of visits and start to pack and prepare Dias for our leaving. Everyone at the baby house is worried, Mike and I aren't. With Shawn, no one at the baby house worried and we worried. Mike and I both agree, Dias understands. The next trip may be harder because we will have to tell him again, we are leaving but will be back.
We had a good visit with Gulnara last eve. discussing adoption-ours and others. We will sign a stack of papers today and the Minister of Education representative will visit again. We will stay in a flat tomorrow night in Almaty which we appreciate Gulnara arranging because Hotel Kazakhstan was $$$$$$$.
We buy educational toys for the groupa and Dias knocks 'em out. He is so smart. he says "good boy" and continues to tell Inessa she does not need to translate, he understands. We think he really does. He has the cutest grin!
We talked to Shawn yesterday and he told his grandpa he wanted to tell him mom he loved he before school. Made my day and we miss him so much. It ha taken 5 attempts to write this one entry. Think I will end this one now. More later....We have wonderful memories of our bonding time and will miss our new friends. And of course, the kiddos......
xoxo

Count down to Houston

We are starting to think about leaving and getting thins in order. We feel sad about Dias not being with us but we feel very comfortable leaving him after having spent all this time with his caregivers and knowing him a little better now. We made him a photograph album and a blankie. They will continue to tell him about us and he knows we are coming back and soon he will leave with us on a plane. Mike loved his visit in a real yurt. The poster is all about adoption, how many etc. and guess who that is in the upper left hand corner? None other than Shawn Adilet Collins! He is on their poster for adoption! How special for us! Aida Criner is also and I can't wait to show them. The lady in blue took care of Shawn while he was in isolation (2 1/2 years of his life) and we both look terrible because of all the crying that went on. I still can't quite get my mind around that experience. Other lady in white is the doctor for Dias and she gave us a wonderful history and really nothing bad, just the hip issue. She is very happy he will have it fixed and recover in the USA w/ a lot of 1:1 attention. She is also the one that told us more about Shawn than we knew before.
More photo-developing, walking around and ate lunch at our favorite little cafeteria. Gulnara will be here some time today. Tatyana has called and emailed and kept up with us. As I have written, everyone has been wonderful. Mike watches all the goings on with binoculars from our 7th floor apt. Never a dull moment.....Off to see little man soon and home to eat and sleep and then really start to pack and wrap up details for this trip. I know the next two will be rush-rush so we have tried to do it all this one.

National holiday and Dias' b-day

We have seen sheep being slaughtered several times today all around town. it is a holiday for Muslim people and you serve lamb and everyone comes to visit and eats and takes some home. The amazing thing is that a black lamb which is the best can cost 500-1000$!!!!!! We watched our neighbors skin and gut and quarter one and then watched a woman wash every piece clean, and all the "inners", I guess it is all used. You use a butane torch to cook the head for some reason. We also finally ate sheshalik (shish kabob) on aluminium wires (like from a construction site) and cooked over open fire. You sprinkle some water w/ onions in it from a used soda pop bottle and go to town! Served w/ bread and sliced fresh onions and GOOD! The holdiay is something about when Abraham slaughtered a lamb in thanks. Like our thanksgiving sort of. People brought food (lamb) and toys several times to the baby house. Really touched us and made us both tear up. They are celebrating and take the time to bring things to those who have less. Don't ever criticize Muslims to Mike or I. I try and not generalize but actually the Muslim people we have met are #1, just people like us, but #2, extremely friendly and generous. From the Imams welcoming us in the Mosque to just meeting regualr folks.
Dias had a WONDERFUL birthday. The baby house mama's put on a play and gave him a tigger stuffed toy. He was beaming. We have wonderful video. Dias seemed to know it was special and about him. But we gave gifts to all the kids and lots of balloons. It was SO fun. The baby house mama's cried and said how happy they were the children were so happy..then we all cried. This place will break your heart. With joy and sadness. Like life. We are really ready to come home but are savoring every minute. I was playing with Dias and heard some kids and looked through a gate and there was one of my boyfriends. I got some awesome photographs of him. We are hoping a family that had been told his adoption was not possible has a turn in fate.......
Love to all. Muslim, Christian, or whatever, we all have much to be thankful for.
Love,
Mike and Susan

Here we are, we hope....

Somehow I was ale to sign on today. I have no idea how and usually it comes up in Russian or the characters change mid-sentence.....Dias is such a great kid. He is sweet, and loving, and funny and ALL boy. The hip/leg prolems only seem to show up with fatigue and going up and down stairs at times. We have been visiting 2x's a day everyday and he tells his mama's at the babyhouse if we are late. He tells everyone he meets "E mama E papa" and smiles that precious smile. The pee and poo thing is too cute in their buckets, each numbered for each child and they all know which is theirs. Same with their towel, toothbrush etc. The clothes are another story and they all are quite colorful some days but always warm and clean. The other children are warming up to us and you cannot help get attached to certain ones. Others, well, we are pretty sure they will be seen on kazakhs most wanted one day........We sleep well, we love the steam radiator heat in the apts. and then you just open the windows if you get too warm. There are so many things we love about it here, truly, but home is of course, always best. we have thoroughly enjoyed our translators time with us and her view of history...USSR... etc. Very interesting and also very sad for many people when it broke up. Dias is Kazakh so he is welcome and they really want him to stay here of course. He is a national resource, truly.The Russian kids are a different story. Not mistreated but segregated and the hope for the future is Kazakh only.

In between visits

I am so sorry I have not been able to blog everyday and especially sorry I have not been able to share photographs. I am glad there are no families right behind us or I would feel like I let them down and those of you that have been here, I am sorry I have not been able to show you more.For some strange reason the print characters change mid-sentence frequently. This problem plus Firefox, firewalls, Yahoo, Russian server, wrong cable line for this modem etc., etc.....BUT, we are all well. Here and home. Shawn is doing wonderful. We continue to enjoy our trip. Certainly much more than last time. Partially the weather was so dreadful in '05 and I am loving the cool weather. Everyone thinks I am crazy because I am not all wrapped up.
The children has a huge lunch (dinner) of beet salad, meat and vegetable soup with bread, then meat and masked potatoes with gravy and a fruit drink drunk warm. That little Dias can put away the food! We had to quit giving him snacks because he told his Mama Looba " no thanks (dinner), I will wait for my momma and poppa and my food with them". He cracks us up everyday. The words that most describe him are cute, sweet, smart, tender but can be tough and independent. We love our time as well in between visits, walking, shopping, sight seeing and I arrange photographs. All is well. My Russian improves everyday.

Hope you receive this

We are still having internet blog problems but here we go again...All visits are going perfect and Dias warms up to us more and more. He does not like Mike's "stickly" beard. He practically flys into my arms when we arrive. He is quite content most of the time when we leave and clearly feels at home (of ocurse he does) with his little family group.
They pee and poo in little blue basins and it too cute when he goes and gets number 9 (everything is numbered for each child) pot, does his thing, hands it to me to rinse, goes and washes his little hands and dries then on towel number nine. They eat a very healthy diet. Fruit everyday (we did not see that in '05) and vitamins everyday (also nyet in '05).
Our apt. is terrific and except for the computer problems - oh vey!!!!! - and our DVD player fried or something, all else is good. We are quite comfortable this trip. Dias is wonderfully cared for and as usual the babyhouse is clean and orderly.

Hello from Taldy Korgan

We are still having computer problems. Hopefully tonight we will have a solution. We are enjoying our visit with Dias so much. He is a very sweet child and all boy. He has started to hug us when we arrive which of course makes me very happy. He loves to play cars and on the playground and eats everything we bring him with great gusto. The weather is gorgeous but we hear there will e snow in next three days. Our translator Enessa is a very nice woman and now a friend. Out apt. is comfortable and modern. I drink the cherry juice every day. Susan Cole knows what I mean. And the yogurt here is so good. We eat at our apt. and have been very happy with that. We are going to church tomorrow before we visit Dias and Mike is going to Mosque with our driver next week. We did some marketing today which I love all the fresh foods and bakery and butcher shop. We have been watching video from when Shawn was a baby. We miss him so much. He is well and happy and I think having alot of fun. Everyone wants him to visit. Who knows.........Thank you for writing, it means so much. We are half way through our visit. I hope to have photographs on by tomorrow. Again, for all who sent photos, the baby house staff LOVE seeing these kids.
We are having such a good visit and we feel the Kazak team is doing everything they can to make sure we make the court happy. We had to get permission to visit, we have been observed, we sign in everyday, so does the doctor and the translator that we are visiting everyday. Dias is is a mommas boy it appears so far, whcih is the opposite of Shawn when we were here. Of course I love it and Mike is o.k. with it. All the children run up to him when we arrive each day and tell him we are there....your momma and pappa are here....they all deserve this. Several children from photos we had from 2005 have gone to the orphanage. You can tell it saddens the staff.
More later. We are well. Love to all. Paka.

Hanging out in Amsterdam

It is snowing and our plane is delayed one hour. We walk around then we sit in the KLM lounge and eat and drink. Read and nap. Almost ready to leave for the plane. We "hear" Shawn is happy and all is well.
I had to buy convertor to use the lap top. We have one but it is in the checked luggage, not thinking we'd need it in Amsterdam.
So list so far:
Join the World Perks KLM Lounge Club
Take your convertor with you in carry on.
We will do business in a.m. and it sounds like we will leave for Taldy tomorrow!
One last note, the French at Air France are snobs. The Dutch at KLM are awesome!!!! First funny story to tell later........
One day closer to Dias.

KLM lounge

O.k., first off, which ever family recommended to buy the KLM lounge pass, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! SO worth it already. We are on line for free, we are sipping drinks and just had a nice lunch. All included in the membership. Quiet, clean and comfy. We think it is well worth the money. Mike wants to look at motorcycles on-line, so I will read. Shawn was happy this a.m. and did not seem anxious. He said he would miss us and hugged us extra long. The grandparents will be doing some serious spoiling and he deserves it.
Maybe I can write from Amsterdam. Since this is an international flight there are so many different kinds of people and languages around us. Love it. We are so thankful for this chance. Our Kazak coordinator just emailed us to wish us a safe flight. Our coordinators with old agency and the new one called yesterday. We are in the best of hands. This just has to have a happy ending..........

Taldy Bound

Well, after many hours of packing, cleaning (Grandparents are staying in our home with Shawn), errands and repacking, we are finally ready to travel.
Had a nice dinner with family this evening-Mexican food of course-and spent some QT with Shawn and I guess we are as ready as we are gonna get. The photographs of the kids I received that are adopted from Taldy, I will take to the baby house and hopefully get a few pictures of the ladies looking at the children who are so changed since they left Kazakh soil.
Aida, is a little girl that we met in 2005 in Taldy. She had a severe cleft palate that I believe a repair was attempted, she had no hair from being shaved and it was so hot that summer they let the kids run around in undies. Everyday she would come up to us and smile, and hug us and drool all over us and pinch us! Yes, she would smile so sweet and then pinch us on the leg. And if you did not love on her some more she would pinch you again harder. She was incredibly precious!
I received photographs today of a stunningly beautiful dark eyed princess. Those eyes, that smile, that pose! She is NOT the same child we met in 2005. She is such an example of what love can do. Her parents, the Criners, muct be so proud of her.
Long trip ahead but closer to that baby every mile! We are SO thankful for the opportunity to make this happen and we are not forgetting it almost did not happen. We are not taking anything for granted. Just glad to have the chance.

"Leaving, on a jet plane......."

We finally received our letter of invitation and we are Kazakhstan bound this Saturday. There was more paperwork to be done, air travel arrangements to be made and many last minute details. Mike and I both are working tomorrow and will have Friday together to put the final touches on things and off we go the next morning to Houston. We had to take a more complicated route this time with more stops and longer layovers but are still flying with KLM/NWA which we wanted. Golden Rule Travel is arranging it all and prices weren't bad. We bought travel and medical insurance and I added the Business Class lounge to our World Perks Membership (thank you adoption loop)so at least our layovers will be a little nicer. Well worth a few hundred bucks for all that! The price difference between economy (us) and the other classes is insane! We will be economy thank you very much,
Medicines were obtained just in case, and I am scouting out anyone that has extra Valium! I plan to stay medicated or intoxicated the entire trip. Mike's look was too precious when I informed him of that travel suggestion. Last trip to Kazakhstan I savored every moment and wanted the whole enchilada of experience. This time I am "Wake me when we get there...." mentality. I will get perky again when I can see Dias and those other kids...I feel it building.
Shawn has been precious and seems to truly get it about how hard this is to leave him but needed if we are to adopt Dias. He is so brave and sweet.
We arrive in Almaty at 5:40 a.m. and have a meeting (which we knew nothing about) with the Minister of Education offices at 9:00 a.m. Should be interesting......
Between us being hung over, jet lagged, stinky and grumpy, maybe they will be glad to cut it short! Of course we'd hang by our fingernails in our long johns if they wanted us to.
All I can write at this moment, is yes, it is worth it. No matter what happens.

Sleeping Angels

GotchaGiftRegistry and Comments

Hi Friends and Family,
Many of you will be receiving a card from GotchaGiftRegistry. This is an online adoption gift registry. They also have a journal we will be posting to.
I also found a service that will print our journal and blog into a book. We would love you to comment to both or either so we can save them for Dias. In adoption, the traditional baby books etc., don't always fit. A hard copy of all this writing will be his story of sorts. We'd love as many comments as possible. I have tons of emails I will also print and add.
I am trying to post a photograph sent to me by one of the members of SPOON org. from Taldy. Be on the look out. Made a blanket for Dias to keep while we are gone.
A photograph albulm is being built and will be added to while we are there for Dias. I hear the baby house staff are very willing to show the waiting children the photographs and help them remember and grasp the idea that "Mommie and Daddy" are real and are coming back. When we had to leave Shawn there were Amercians there building a playground and he was allowed to hang with them. But it was reported he was sad and wouldn't eat while we were gone. Of course he was 2 1/2 and we could not really explain things to him. But Dias will turn four while we are there and will hopefully be able to grasp the concept.

No we have not left yet....

We are still in the U.S. A friend thought we'd left and just had not written anything. No, we are still here. Yes, we are still going. Our LOI has not been issued. No, we don't know why. We are bascially ready and will go when they summon us. I can't get an ulcer over it which I was headed for. No complications that we are aware of. We will hopefully still leave the weekend before Thanksgiving and be gone approximately 21 days. Then home for about 8 weeks. Back for court, in Kazakhstan around a week we are guessing. Then around 2-4 weeks later to make our final visit and bring little Dias home forever. The plan is for me to make that trip alone. Anyone want to accompany me?????
We signed up for a new service that will host a travel journal and is an online gift registry. The woman that created this and runs it is an adoptive mom. I have enjoyed visiting with her. I think she has a great idea. Go to www.GotchaGiftRegistry.com and check it out.
My next posting will be that we are traveling!
Love to all.

Our Journey Home is "finally" beginning

Received a call from Regina from our adoption agency yesterday. Our tentative date for travel is November 22, 2008. We will receive a Letter of Invitation with the secured date in the next week. Our facilitator in Kazakhstan is working really hard to organize our visit and make all the arrangements. She is currently working with another family and when they are settled in she will devote her time to making our first visit happen.
Our families are looking forward to caring for Shawn while we are gone and there are suitcases getting packed. One small paperwork glitch and Mike and I will drive to our capital-Austin, next week and obtain that.
We are planning on around 21 days for the first trip, then home for the holidays and in a perfect adoption, back for court. After court has granted us the adoption, there is a 14 day period where anyone (us, the court, the child's birth family etc.) can change their minds. If all goes well, we will return for our third and final stay.
I gave birth to my daughter Lauren 23 years ago. Someone commented to me, that she had "finally arrived", as I had lost previous pregnancies.
Our son Shawn was adopted 3 years ago. A caregiver at the baby house told us, they had told Shawn (Adilet) that his family had "finally arrived", when we drove up to the orphanage.
When we went to adopt Shawn, a little boy was just down the hall who was 7 months old at that time. That little boy was the child we are adopting.
I cannot wait to say "finally".
Thank you friends and family for your love and support.
Keep praying that the Kazakhstan government will look favorably on our request to adopt.

Yes we are still adopting.....

Message directly from the facilitator in Kazakhstan is we should be receiving our Letter Of Invitation mid-November and leave for first trip end of November. The reason for the later time frame is not because of problems though. The Kazakh end of this can only handle so much at a time and their schedules are full. We understand this and appreciate them for keeping details and their families first. They refuse to do more business than they can give all their attention to.
We have packed a few things and are making the arrangements for the house and care of Shawn while we are gone. One more document to notarize and appostille (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????) so Fed Ex bound we are today in between Fall Festivals and Birthday parties and laundry.
We are collecting photos and such from adoptive families to take to Taldy and they are starting to arrive. I can't wait to present these to the staff at the baby house. Have wrapped a few birthday gifts (sniffle, sniffle..) for Dias as he will turn 4 while we are there.
Probably no news for a few weeks but will write it when we know.
So, Yes we are still adopting. No, we haven't heard anything. But everyday brings us closer to our child.

This roller coaster is making me nauseated!

Today is a teary day because I thought we were about 2 weeks away and now we hear we are 4 weeks away. Don't know why. What difference does it make? Dias will be 4 on December 9th which is heartbreaking but maybe we will be there for his birthday which is cool.
A friend wrote me and expressed her appreciation for my support during her adoption. I don't seem to good at it for myself! I have cried at least 5 times today. Thinking of leaving Shawn for an unknown amount of time, thinking of not seeing my daughter when she visits Texas at Christmas, thinking of Dias getting older and more set in the orphanage mentality plus the longer his hip is not addressed the more complicated it will be to correct, and finding out our newest news about traveling.
I know the team is working on our adoption and a few dozen more. They are always upbeat and encouraging, but when they tell you, "Good news! You'll hopefully (the hopefully part is a disclaimer in the world of adoption) be going as early as the end of November!", All I hear is , not yet.
I went for my mammogram today. A woman was talking about age and complaining about hers. My friend Carol (Hi Carol and I love you!) just left for MD Anderson with a new diagnosis of breast cancer. I thought to myself, I don't care about my age. I don't have cancer, I am healthy and my husband and children are too and we are adopting! I could care less about my age from a vanity point.
So I will end this gripe session by writing that I do have it all in perspective. I am thankful. I am just sad a little.
Tomorrow we Trick-Or-Treat and party with Shawn's class. All weekend long we have fun things planned and Sunday I will relax with my best friend, my husband.
Life is very good.

FINALLY!!!!!!

News finally! We don't have a travel date yet but according to our agency we are looking at leaving in about 2 weeks!!!! The facilitator in Kazakhstan has met with the lawyer in Taldy (where Dias is) and does not sense any issues that would hinder our adoption. The judge is not issuing court dates for adoption hearings though. A family went in August for their bonding period and have yet to be asked to return for court. But all concerned have agreed it is in our best interest to go for our bonding period and demonstrate our commitment (well duh!) and it is one major part of all this that we can go ahead and accomplish. Who knows? Maybe we will be invited right back, and maybe we will be 3 months later still waiting. Crazy isn't it? Our coordinator Susan feels it is good to go on and we are so ready. We were actually given the option to wait and see what happens with the other family, or try and have Dias moved to another region. I can't think about uprooting that baby from all he has ever known and moving him and then we show up etc. TOO much! I really need to see that little boy. So we are Kazakhstan bound soon! Hope to have dates by next week. We have so much to do.........Yippeee!!!!!!

Ramblings

Read this the other day and wanted to share:
"We witness a miracle every time a child enters into a life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait for them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands."-Kristi Larson
I don't know who Ms. Larson is but she sums up this adoption pregnancy perfectly. That little quote is for all our currently adopting soul mates.
No news really except that we can be expecting some news soon. (?!) That is an update in the world of international adoption I am afraid.
Standing by for a possible stand by. etc., etc.
I saw a t-shirt the other day that read," Yes, we are still adopting. No, we haven't heard anything". How true is that??
I compared this "pregnancy" to our first adoption with Shawn as, tenuous. With Shawn, it was as if we had a normal, healthy pregnancy. All the fears and anxieties yes, but happy and excited none-the-less. And exactly 9 months even! This time we almost had a miscarriage. So now we wait with a heavy heart some days wondering what will go wrong. It is an uncomfortable blend of excited but not too excited, hopeful but guarded, happy for the chance but sad we may still lose it. I have experienced incomplete pregnancies followed by a wonderful pregnancy and birth of my daughter. I have experienced a perfect adoption followed by a topsy turvy one we now currently pursue. The wings of destiny might be flying with our child in them right now. It is that chance we are pursuing. There are parents that would trade with us in a heart beat for just the chance. Our son needs a brother, we want another child, a child needs a home, grandparents tell us their grand kids are what keep them young and give them a reason. Other hopeful adoptive families look and watch and think, maybe if they can we can. We are not giving up for those reasons plus a few dozen more. The biggest one is a 3 1/2 year old boy 23 hours away who I can only picture happy, healthy and running with his new brother in the yard. I cannot fathom the alternative.
An family currently adopting wrote that they watched several orphaned children climb some stairs at the orphanage. They hugged their newly adopted daughter a little tighter I am sure as they watched these motherless children walk away and thought what we all think,"What if...?".
Look at Shawn then and now. What if.......

Fall is here!

Fall is finally here. It is still hot 'cuz we're in Texas ya'll, but it is fall none the less. Our adoption process with our new agency is moving along. No news except that we remain hopeful and happy about bringing little Dias to our home. There are many troubling waters in the world of international adoption and this just makes our own problems seem even harder. Then, something happens or someone says something at just the right moment and we take a breath and put our oars back in the water and keep rowing!
We have been having fun and trying really hard to still be in the moment. For what we already have is more than we ever dreamed of. My daughter is growing her practice in Portland, Oregon and continues to amaze and bless me by her presence in my life. Mike and I have secure employment and are blessed with the resources to continue our adoption. In these trying times, that is not a small statement.
One adoption family friend is going to leave soon to adopt their daughter and another family will return from their first visit with their daughter tomorrow. Several adoptive families we now call friends, have said they will not be returning to Kazakhstan if they want more children. This saddens me but I can understand completely. With China adoptions taking 4-5 years and other countries becoming more and more strict, UNICEF's attempts at decreasing (stopping) international family building and The Hague setting criteria that leaves many families in limbo, the future for international adoptions is bleak I hate to write.
I did not set out to advocate for adoption. Life sometimes hands us our destiny even when we don't pick it ourselves. I swore when we were given a second chance to adopt Dias that I would spend the rest of my life helping families and children unite through adoption. I still don't know what shape that will take. However, I am sure I will be in the mix somewhere.
The most spectacular people have entered our lives via this miracle called adoption. Also,a little spirit in a Kazakh boys body, blesses me everyday by calling me "mom". It keeps me going. That, and fall fun.......

Paperwork Chains

More paperwork. Our new agency is trying to not make this cumbersome but it has to meet state regulations etc. We understand and certainly don't want any problems. So more notarized signatures, a new contract, etc. Thank heavens for our wonderful social workers husband Peter, who has been our notary. He is another angel. Some low days feeling uncertain about this all again but trying to stay focused on Dias and like our coordinator Susan says, stay strong for this child. So more treks back to Fed Ex to over night documents.
From what we hear so far, our paperwork in Kazakhstan is being pulled from the Minister of Foreign Affairs and will be processed within the next couple of weeks. Then the Kazak team makes trips back and forth between Almaty (big city) to Taldykorgan (smaller city) where Dias lives, to file papers with the court and arrange our accommodations. Within a couple of months we should be issued a LOI (letter of invitation) and travel a couple of weeks after that!
With the help of our brother-in-law Kevin and his Rotary brothers, we have secured new bills ( a huge issue in International Adoption because all money taken to Kazakhstan must be new uncirculated bills). We are getting great results from our ink cartridge recycling drive and our bank has been awesome (do you believe that? but they have) and we are hoping to finish a loan application with a wonderful organization called A Child Waits Foundation, that grants low interest loans for adoption. SO many angels! I can't wait to take Dias to each of them and say look what you have helped do!
Another new quilt waits for Dias made by his Grandma Polly. He is already so loved.
Hope to have good news soon. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement.

It's Official

We officially gave our Power of Attorney to the Kazakh team with Journey Homes Adoption Services, Inc. to represent us for our adoption. The next few weeks will bring more paper work and emails as we wait for good news. We are not giving up on this child.
We are applying for a loan with A Child Waits Foundation (WONDERFUL people) that will be a low interest loan if approved. We were denied a grant (sad) but only because our chosen child is not special needs enough (glad).
Our wonderful credit union also approved an increase in a personal line of credit. I am also working on fund raising stuff. Working and a family aren't leaving much time to do this but we are pushing through. Working on EBay stuff today.
We are rush-rush about all this because we were told we could receive travel dates in a month or so if all goes well.
Keep us in your thoughts.
Our newest photographs are so stinkin cute of our chosen child! That smile and those mischievous eyes keep us strong and focused.

Cautiously Hopeful

No real news except that there is no real bad news. We are hoping to know more about our options by the end of the week.
Our new agency, Journey Homes Adoptions Inc. is looking at all the different angles this arrangement could lead to.
This is not a simple challenge for the people involved.
We are supported by World Partners Adoptions, our first agency, by their staff and expertise but any finalization of our adoption will be through our new agency. Overall they feel confident. Our coordinator, Susan Cotten (soon to be suggested for Saint Hood) feels good about it and that means everything! We appreciate all of these people more than we'll ever be able to convince them. Just that they want to try and there is still hope means everything. We look forward to telling anyone that will listen how God has worked through this adoption. This little boy has touched many people.
We are not giving up on our little boy!
There will be more money involved for several reasons and I am working on a sponsor letter for anyone interested.
We have information that Dias remains at the baby house (Thank you God!) and the staff there know we are still trying to adopt him. Our paperwork is intact and safe. We are running out of time before that becomes another issue.
New mantra: "Not problems, but challenges."
We are staying busy and enjoying Shawn as he learns about Kinder garden.

What's the difference between an adopting mom and a pit bull? Lipstick! (Thank you Gov. Palen)

Upate and Thanks

First Mike and I want to tell you how kind you all have been. You have all just been the best during the last 10 days. The support, words of comfort and love have touched us and sustained us both.
We have made this blog space by invitation only right now (not that the masses were flocking to our blog..) but to use a centralized communication to just who we want to share information with.Plus we don't want to upset or scare anyone etc. Every adoption is unique. We'd love to tell anyone who will listen what all has been going on, but what does it really matter right now. Our focus is Dias. I am still learning about this site; sorry if you received 5 invitaions.
Mike and I have been blessed with good counsel and we are going to continue to try and adopt Dias. It will be by a different route and we will share what we can when we can. It was important to us both that you know we have not given up and are on the same page about fulfilling our promise to adopt Dias.
We have great peace that we are committed and have a plan. We are not at a point to be able to share much but knew you'd like to know and we feel you deserve to know.
Plus we are happier and wanted to share that. It is happy news that we may still have a chance to be the family we envisioned and to give that precious little boy a family and a home.
We are cautiously optomistic.
I will also keep up as best as I can emailing etc. The lazy days of summer are over. School, work, running a home etc. are wonderful parts of life and a blessed distraction.
You will understand later, but remember this: There are angels on earth. I have met two real life angels. Then I met a few more heavenly creatures. Then our faith was restored in people. People who have nothing to gain but still want what is best for this child. Can't wait to tell you all about it.
I have received emails from people as far away as Canada. Adoption problems are not unique to us, or our agency. I know positives will come out of this and I intend on making sure they are shared.

Sad news

This blog was to keep a digital age record of our adoption journey and to let those interested keep up with us.
It is with deep sorrow we have to then add to this blog the news that adopting Dias is not going to happen. We were informed by our agency 2 days ago that the Kazak side of the team has decided not to complete our adoption or pursue any others in the city that Dias lives in.
The city (or certain persons) have become hostile to adoption and it has become impossible to conduct business there. We knew there were problems. We were told after our adoption, our agency was going to pull out of that area for now. We thought we'd be getting news in a few weeks that we'd be leaving to go adopt the only other boy as precious as Shawn. But it is not to be. Our agency says they have not given up but admit there is little they can do. We don't know the reasons, it does not make sense and we have no answers for anyone.
We know that our agency and it's staff are excellent and our coordinator and social worker are two of the best with any agency. We were and are, in excellent hands. That is just not enough it seems.
Mike and I are heartbroken. Shawn seems to understand that Dias is not coming here but does not understand why. Well, that makes 3 of us. He still calls him brother and we will alwaysa call him son.
Dias is our child. Dias is Shawn's brother and his aunt's and uncle's nephew and his grandparent's grandson. No one can or ever will change that.
We have had the most loving and generous outpouring of support. We are so blessed in many ways. Several people have said somethings that have resonated within me.
My sister believes that the love we have for Dias is still out in the world and his life is still better and mattered because he is loved and wanted. He does matter to us.
He is well taken care of and with the only people he knows. We do not worry about that thank God. But that can never repalce or compare to him having a family.
This is called a lost referral in adoption lingo. We aren't the first and sadly, won't be the last. In our lingo it is called a heartache and a huge injustice.
We however are celebrating life's other joys, like our son's first tooth out and his starting Kindergarden.
We will not know what is next for a few weeks.
We are going to circle the wagons and just hang on till we feel better.
I have always liked this Chinese proverb and I plan to live by it:
You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.
We will forever be thankful for our Kazak child. We also will cherish the opportunity and dream of another child. If that is to be, it will be another blessing, if it is not to be, we are so very blessed still.
Our adoption family of friends are the most awesome people on this planet. I could not get through this without you.

A loose tooth and a Dias sighting

Our precious Shawn has his first loose tooth. The big boy tooth is right behind it. He is very excited about this milestone and showing anyone that will look.
Another WPA family just returned from Taldy. They were able to see and talk with Dias and give him a toy we sent. Ann says that if Dias has a limp it is something you have to stare at him to find. Maybe his hip problem is minor. We sure hope so. We also have new photographs coming this week from Ann. We can't wait.
No new news but are hoping for something in the next couple of weeks. Our original dates for possible travel dates would place us hearing something around the first week of September. With the country wide delays who knows, but we are prepping and planning as if we were leaving in about 4 weeks.
Shawn has a meet the teacher night next week and then we will spend our last official weekend of summer doing some fun things. Then our baby begins his journey into his education. How time has flown! Our beautiful first child turns 23 next week. HOW TIME REALLY FLIES!!!!!
I am trying to remember that what we focus on expands.
To the adventure and the love that sustains it,
Susan, Mike and Shawn

August Update

We have been trying to keep cool here in Texas.
Getting Shawn ready for Kindergarten and waiting, more waiting for news.
The good news is there is no especially bad news. The bad news is that we will encounter another delay due to a country wide slow down of processing paperwork in Kazakhstan. More details at a later date-suffice to write that we nor our agency can do any thing about it so we will wait some more. We will continue to prepare for our trip as if we were leaving in a few weeks and wait for the call.
Shawn was sitting on his Grandpa's lap last week and was asked to move to the other leg. Shawn said no, because that leg was for his brother Dias.....With love like that we can wait as long as it takes.
The generosity and support we have received from friends and family is also keeping us strong.
We are anxiously awaiting news from the Chapman family who are in Kazakhstan right now picking up their beautiful Emma, to see if they were able to see Dias. And dare we hope, maybe even get new photographs?
Temple sent this never before seen photo of Shawn to us from WPA. Found in old records from Shawn's paperwork. Can't you see the love the care taker has for him? Would be so cool to find her when we go back.
More later.....

Good News!

Email from our coordinator Susan Cotten, tells us that our paperwork is safely in the hands of the Kazak officials. She is predicting the next phase of the process will take around 2 months. We are just glad something is in Kazakhstan. Next we want it to be us! Happy 4th! Paka paka! (Bye bye)

Correction

The Kazak band I wrote about is "Urker". Albulm titled "Made In Kazakhstan". It can be found on Yahoo music or You Tube. And any music with the instrument called the Dombra in it. You would be amazed at what they can do with 3 strings!
No news is good news on the adoption front.
I am still working on a cookbook and will release ASAP. Garage Sale went o.k., we are starting several fundraising projects as our air fare budget is getting zapped from the price increases! OUCH! A car wash, silent auction and raffle are in the making. We were just accepted into a cool program that recycles used printer ink cartridges and we will be paid a little for each one we send in. Every little bit helps.
Shawn asks about his brother everyday. He includes him in spirit in everything we do. He is the sweetest child I swear. We are just about through collecting Kung Fu Panda figures and WALL E the movie opens and Shawn is wondering why Mc Donald's still has King Fu Panda characters! Things move way too fast for me.
The month of July will be slow because we do not expect any news. Just more stand by for a possible stand by.
We are hanging in.
Happy Fourth of July to you and yours.
Keep our soldiers safe and their families comforted.

Air Fare Woes

When we started budgeting for our adoption, air fare was going to run us about $1700.00 each, round trip. My last check with KLM is showing about $2300.00. Talk about inflation! And that is IF we can fly KLM. American was $4200.00!!!!! With the possibility of not traveling for several more months, and the possibility of taking three trips, this area of expenditure is quickly becoming our biggest expense! We are trying very hard to not go into debt for our adoption. Partially because the economy is so uncertain, and partially because we are expecting some medical expenses to fix Dias's leg and hip. So we are turning to some fund raising projects.
We chose Empties4Cash as our first fundraier which will be on going. We also are planning a car wash, a Pizza Night, a silent auction and a raffle for some very nice donated items.
Every bit will help. We do not fear our adoption will be denied due to the fact that little Dias is considered special needs and is older. Our growing fear is that we will encounter some unplanned money mountains to go get him! We are going to hope for the best and plan for the worst.

When Love Takes You In

Go to Steven Curtis Chapman's website (a Christian singer/songwriter) or You Tube under adoption and find "When Love Takes You In". This song and video kept me going on our first adoption. I still love it, but this time it is also has the meaning to hold tight to every moment because it is too short. The Chapman's lost one of their daughters to death after an accident. So the song now still inspires me for our adoption, but also makes me remember to be very present in this moment, with who I have in my life now. All of whom are blessings. If you have some time to kill just watch some of those adoption videos. And get the Kleenex.
We could find almost nothing on Kazakhstan our first adoption, now because of the www and such, it is easy. Some of it may be crap, and I apologize, I can't filter what I want you to see and not, but check it out. A HUGE country with a lively and interesting history and people. There is a band called "Ukar" which is a folk/rock type band that is really good. Any posts/videos you find from Taldy Korgan (Kurgan) is where we went and are going again. Enjoy!

Backtracking

We are building this blog backwards so we will catch you up briefly here:
After deciding we wanted to add to our family again, we contacted World Partners Adoption, who we used for the adoption of our son Shawn, from Kazakhstan. By the end of January we had signed a contract with WPA and began our paperwork pregnancy. Letters from employers, banks, our mortgage company etc., were being gathered and notarized and apostilled and all in triplicate.
By the end of February we had been fingerprinted and scheduled and completed our home study with our social worker Beverley Lewin who we also used for our first adoption. This month was also spent gathering other paperwork such as marriage license, birth certificates etc. These also must be in triplicate. We are getting to be known at Kinko's/Fed Ex. In March we are scheduled for our immigration appointment, cleared by the FBI after being cleared locally as well and have all of our physicals performed that paperwork mailed off as well. The staff and doctors and Tyler Acute Care are awesome! We also decide it is o.k. to tell family and friends what we are up to.
We spend April gathering a few items for our new son such as a bed, potty, car seat and stroller. All of which we just gave away because we were done adding to our family.......never say never....Gramma Polly makes a beautiful quilt that is covering little mans bed. Shawn helps with all purchases and loves it. He speaks of his brother at least once a day. He has already set aside toys for him and tells us he will teach him all about life here. We also pick a name: Cameron James Collins.
By the end of May we have received the Holy Grail of adoption paperwork, the Favorable Determination of Advance Processing of Orphan Petition. Basically, yes go ahead, all this work has not been in vain. Off that goes to WPA as well as our completed dossier (the previous 5 months of paperwork with 5 copies of the whole dossier) and mailed off to WPA.
And here we are in June! We know that our dossier is out of translation (from Russian and Kazak) and has been sent to the consulate where it must be approved by many hands, each one doing their job very well, and looking for errors, problems, missed signatures etc. So far no problems.
As of today, June 28, no news is good news.
Temple at WPA is our adoption angel this go round for reasons she knows. God bless her.
So here we are, standing by for a possible stand-by. I will add some photos, video and links as we go along and share more about Kazakhstan. A really fascinating. huge country that no one has ever heard of!