Today is a teary day because I thought we were about 2 weeks away and now we hear we are 4 weeks away. Don't know why. What difference does it make? Dias will be 4 on December 9th which is heartbreaking but maybe we will be there for his birthday which is cool.
A friend wrote me and expressed her appreciation for my support during her adoption. I don't seem to good at it for myself! I have cried at least 5 times today. Thinking of leaving Shawn for an unknown amount of time, thinking of not seeing my daughter when she visits Texas at Christmas, thinking of Dias getting older and more set in the orphanage mentality plus the longer his hip is not addressed the more complicated it will be to correct, and finding out our newest news about traveling.
I know the team is working on our adoption and a few dozen more. They are always upbeat and encouraging, but when they tell you, "Good news! You'll hopefully (the hopefully part is a disclaimer in the world of adoption) be going as early as the end of November!", All I hear is , not yet.
I went for my mammogram today. A woman was talking about age and complaining about hers. My friend Carol (Hi Carol and I love you!) just left for MD Anderson with a new diagnosis of breast cancer. I thought to myself, I don't care about my age. I don't have cancer, I am healthy and my husband and children are too and we are adopting! I could care less about my age from a vanity point.
So I will end this gripe session by writing that I do have it all in perspective. I am thankful. I am just sad a little.
Tomorrow we Trick-Or-Treat and party with Shawn's class. All weekend long we have fun things planned and Sunday I will relax with my best friend, my husband.
Life is very good.
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